"I like the melody line for the B section. I don't think the A (main) section's melody moves enough. It's kind of static.
Lyrics are promising. P'raps some revisions and tune-ups... p'raps not...
Obviously it's a scratch vocal, but in general it sounds like you're holding back a lot. It doesn't sound natural... like your breathing is not in sync with what you're singing. Just something to look out for.
More to come...."
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why Ethan is paid the big, big bucks. Those notes are exactly what I need to make the tune work. Now, I'll note here that the singing is stilted because I'm still working out the melodies -- that's why the breaths are in weird places. But the important thing is to betterize the "A" section. That actually shouldn't be too hard to do. It likely involves the vocal stealing some of the keyboard's lines. Ha! That's why it's a band, people! So that different instruments can steal one another's melodies.